I Think I Can’t

Emotional obstacles to weight loss? No picnic.

Losing It
By John Roark

The road to weight loss is paved with good intentions, but when results are slow to come or don’t last, discouraged dieters often give up. The fact is that we may be sabotaging ourselves through eating that’s triggered by emotional—not physical—hunger.

“I allowed myself a few of the goodies I had given up in order to fit into my wedding dress in October,” says Michelle Cordero, who’s working to change her unhealthy eating habits and whose weight management progress we’ve been following in this column. “I was on a good ‘taking care of me’ plan, but a sudden family issue required a lot of my time and energy, and I felt like I had to put ‘me’ on hold. In the past when I would have a set-back, I would say ‘Screw it!’ and give up. But this time, I know that today is a new day, and focusing on the negative gets me nowhere. I realize that my struggles are also part of the journey.”

Michelle isn’t alone in her struggle. Ninety-eight percent of people who diet to lose weight put it all back on within two years, says BJ Gallagher, author of Why Don’t I Do the Things I Know Are Good For Me?

“It’s not what you’re eating, it’s what’s eating you,” she says. “Most people use food as a drug to soothe negative emotions. And food—especially sweets and carbs—is a very effective drug. It elevates blood sugar, calms the nerves, increases serotonin in the body, and gives you energy.”

Emotional eating can happen whether or not your body actually needs nourishment. You keep eating despite feeling full, because you’re responding to emotional cues.

“Any stress can trigger emotional eating,” Gallagher says of events like Michelle’s family issue. “We seek comfort food to soothe us in unpleasant circumstances or unhappy situations.”

One of the problems of emotional eating, Gallagher believes, is that the eater turns to food so quickly and effectively, she often doesn’t even know why she’s eating. “Eating serves to suppress feelings, and it does an excellent job—so much so that the eater never gets in touch with the feelings driving her behavior. She has to stop eating long enough for her feelings to come to the surface.

“The desire to avoid emotional pain is normal, but in the emotional eater, the desire is so strong that it can make it impossible to get in touch with those feelings,” she continues. “The feelings are often layers deep in our consciousness, and have built up over years. There is no quick and easy route to access deeply buried feelings. Core issues of guilt, shame, and low self-esteem are often at the heart of the matter. Therapy can help, hypnosis can help, and support groups can help. But I doubt that anyone can deal with their emotional eating without the help of other people—either professional therapists or non-professional support groups.”

The bottom line, according to Gallagher, is that if you could’ve handled it yourself, you would have done so long ago. “Reach out and ask for help from people you trust,” she says. “Three of the most powerful words in the English language are ‘Please help me.’”

Gallagher suggests finding a good therapist, joining Weight Watchers, or seeking out a support group that deals with binge and emotional eating. “Chances are, you’re eating over old issues,” she says, “and you simply can’t deal with that stuff without help.”

John Roark has written about everything from action figures to the plight of aging starlets with irritable bowel syndrome. He lives in Phoenix.