Outside the home, the kids are involved in gymnastics, cheer and a few organized team sports—even football. But the Warner rule is: only one sports activity at a time, because family life is important, too.
Healthy eating is always a challenge, according to Brenda, who recalls her family’s switch from white bread to whole wheat. “They said ‘I don’t like the brown bread,’ but they got used to it,” she says. Snacking is allowed—but only from the reliable family fruit bowl. The Warners have another eating rule: the kids have to dine with the family every night.
“When you have them at home, you can talk about portion size and nutrition,” Brenda says. However, it puts some pressure on parents, noting her husband’s sweet tooth. The two-time NFL “Most Valuable Player” cops to enjoying chocolate and chocolate chip cookies.
“I do like to have a little sweet after a meal,” he admits with the delicacy of a lady who lunches. “But I balance eating with being active. Stay active, and you can have a cookie—that’s what we’re trying to promote.”
Brenda uses the phrase “pick your battles” a lot. “We don’t have a bunch of rules,” she says. “We don’t want them to feel they can’t do anything right. If their clothes don’t match but we get out the door on time to do something we really want to do, that’s all that matters.”
“We’re pretty easy-going,” her husband echoes. “We’d rather they think about what difference they can make in this world.”
Nothing is taboo, including talking about sex. There’s a whole chapter about the subject (see sidebar, above) in the Warners’ new book.
“The biggest thing for us is to view it in the right context,” says Kurt, who thinks some Christians err in looking at sex as taboo. “Sex is healthy—but within the context of marriage.”
“We want the kids to see what a healthy relationship looks like,” he says, explaining why he and Brenda display G-rated affection in front of the kids—eliciting the predictable groans, of course.
The Warners have committed considerable resources to another “teach by example” effort, the First Things First Foundation, from which their new book takes its name. The Christian-oriented charity supports sick children, hospitals, single parents and others with the Warner kids’ participation.
Kurt—father, celebrity athlete, and author—thinks that life’s equilibrium is the key to success. “We try spiritually, mentally and physically to keep everything balanced,” he says.
Having all three, Brenda says, “helps put everything in balance for our children. Otherwise, none of this makes sense.”
Kate Nolan is a journalist and mother of a grade school teacher who likes enchiladas. She blogs about yoga at http://byilog.livejournal.com.
